Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
