Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
