Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
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