do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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