They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize