if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
