so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm sobbing to NWA
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
