I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Randomize
