I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Everclear isn't food dammit
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
