a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
