Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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