question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
