Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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