do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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