Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
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