real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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