i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
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I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
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Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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