Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
