She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
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two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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