do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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