I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
