remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize