so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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