there was a trapeze. enough said
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize
