my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
organizing the empties. That sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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