Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
He had one of those small greek statue penises
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
