you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
