these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Randomize
