This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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