I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
