Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
