I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize