He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize