Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
