dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize