...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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