I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
