we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
