Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Randomize
