i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
