pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Holy shit dude........stairs
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
