He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Randomize
