I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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