My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
