Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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