My hand turned me down
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
