Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
