so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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