Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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