You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
