Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
ttyl tear gas
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
