you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
where are my pants?
in the oven.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
