so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
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