i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
