We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
im about as happy as oj after his trial
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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