the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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