It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
