Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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