No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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