my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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