I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
