Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
