i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
