You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
