thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
